Freaky Friday

[mocks]

❝ For some reason or another the universe, or some really wonky magic, has decided that you needed to swap bodies with another person! It could be because of any number of reasons but here you both are and you need to fix it! Freak out, fight, or have freaky/weird sex. Whatever it is that you do make sure to HAVE FUN!! ❞

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Let's just say it's some mechanical transporter thing gone crazy bananas. One moment, they're just fine, being bros in the mansion or some such. The next, there's a flash of blue lightning and he's her and she's him.

READY SET GO.

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[superspeeds]

At another time whatever she was saying would have made sense. As it was, however, with her ears and her DNA, Pietro found himself staring at the confusing array of sounds. Was that how he sounded to people? No wonder no one could make sense of him unless he talked to them like children.

"You have to slow down." His voice --her voice-- seemed surprisingly quick. He hadn't heard a voice like that in years, not since his powers--

Bobbie Morse didn't have any powers. He felt at his hair --at her hair.

Oh, good God, no.

"We have to find Henry. He created these damned machines, he will know what happened. He can fix this."

[mocks]

If only this had happened to someone else. She'd get a kick out of it then. She'd have something smart to say, something sassy and cute, and she and Pietro would turn to each other and snicker about the poor damned fools who got their bodies swapped. Instead, she was an ungraceful, incommunicative wreck.

She tried to stay perfectly still, which was difficult because she felt very much like she needed to move, and she took in a deep breath and tried to speak one more time. This time, she tried to slow down and speak to Pietro as if she were talking to a very slow and stupid dog. All this was of course doubly weird due to the fact that she was speaking in his voice to him in her own body.

"I don't know where Henry is." It took so much effort to slow down. Bobbi found that she was suddenly impressed by the lengths Pietro went to in order to even communicate with other people. "God only knows when he'll be back. It could be days."

The thought was enough to make her shudder. And in shuddering, she was suddenly hyper aware of how awkward it felt to be in a man's body, let alone a speedster's. She just felt so... out of place.

[superspeeds]

"Then we will have to call him here!" He spat back, her voice sounding shrill and foreign on his ears. It was dreadful, truly. What hadn't it happened to someone else? Why couldn't it have been Tigra and Iron Man, or someone equally mockable?

He walked over to the machine that seemed to have triggered the incident. It caught him how odd the juxtaposition seemed in his head. On the one hand, he was moving more slowly than he ever would normally, and on the other, it seemed perfectly natural, comfortable in the confines of her body. In fact, the only uncomfortable thing to him were the pants she had elected to wear that day.

He crouched down to inspect the display panel, hoping but not expecting to find some obvious explanation for their troubles. Who ever invented skinny jeans had no concept of human decency or pragmatism. "You're a scientist, Bobbi Morse. You have a look at this."

[mocks]

"I'm a biochemist, not an engineer! I have no idea what this machine even does!" She wanted to strangle him. Or at the very least slap him. If she didn't worry about damaging her own face, she might've done just that. Instead, she found herself approaching him (her?) in jerky, stilted steps, hoping that she wouldn't get so far ahead of herself that she'd crash into something.

"Your guess is as good as mine." The words still sounded rushed, and the accent sounded completely bizarre, but at least it was understandable. "Maybe if we just start pressing buttons..."

[superspeeds]

"We can send our respective consciousnesses buzzing around the room like stray insects!" He stood up, stance widening and posture straightening rigidly. As he spoke, Pietro found himself resorting to his customary hand gestures. How foreign they seemed with small, feminine fingers flitting in front of his face. Were her nails painted? Apparently so. He hadn't noticed until just then.

More disturbing than the nails, however, was the fact that Bobbi Morse, using his traitorous body, seemed to be towering over him. She was a tall woman and he hardly noticed the difference in their heights on most days. This was an unusual circumstance, however, and seemed to bring out the anxiety in both of them.

"I refuse to allow you to play with our minds in so reckless a fashion. Do we even know what caused it to activate? Perhaps we should begin with that."

[mocks]

She threw her hands up in exasperation, but the movement was so swift that she nearly lost her balance. After steadying herself, she shot Pietro a disapproving look. Perhaps now he'd get a taste of his own medicine and understand how utterly ridiculous he looked all the time.

"I think it was this one." Bobbi reached for the machine, to study it more closely. But instead of focusing on the labels and switches of the device, she was caught staring at Pietro's creepily long fingers, which were now her creepily long fingers. She couldn't help it, she had to shudder.

[superspeeds]

He didn't notice. In the rush of sensation, the over stimulation that came with abruptly moving at real-time, it was lost.

He did notice the shudder, however, and he frowned although he had the distinct impression that it ended up being more like a pout. Her lips were thicker, felt different. Her features were more delicate, and less imposing. It was irritating. He longed for his own body, his own gestures and expressions. He felt suddenly inarticulate without them, as if half of his language skills had been lost. In all likelihood, they had. He couldn't recall French or German, or Italian, or Transian, or Roma, or any of the languages he knew he knew. Spanish was, however, very readily supplied.

"Well?" He said finally, peering over to see her where she was looking at the machine. "Does it look broken?"

[mocks]

"Maybe." She was trying her best to ignore him, instead messing with the knobs and dials on her own. Frustrated, she started to take off the machine's front casing. "Make yourself useful and find me a tool box or something."

She paused then, looking up at Pietro peeking over her shoulder. It was bizarre to see herself from this angle, to see herself as the other saw her. She looked so... not old exactly. But she looked tired, worn out. The lines on her face weren't from smiling. They were from years of worry and stress. Bobbi never would have noticed them if not for seeing herself through Pietro's eyes. Suddenly she felt hypercritical of herself.

"Wait a second," she said, voice dropping a little. "How come you never told me I look like crap?"